I opened this blog 10 years ago in a way to deal with my loneliness (and to become a famous blogger). At that time I was 18 years old and I had just take two important decisions. 1. to not going to college 2. to kill myself. Only one of those decisions was carried out. However, the one I didn't take hunted me for many many years later. Probably because when I was 18 I refused to talk about anything but sex or tumblr. Mental health awareness was vague back in 2015, and I dare to say that the amount of feelings I experienced were so limited. I just felt happy or sad or angry or horny. But suddenly, I came across a different feeling, the most complex one I would say. the one that I have been afraid of my entire life and the only one that has been my company since I was a kid: Confusion. All my life I have felt confuse.